-Not
enough, madam-. I was defeated again. I reached for all the pockets in my bag
and found that one was full of the coins I had hordered from previous trips: Euros,
Rubles, Yens and Yuans. I took a handful and spread it on the counter. To my
surprise, the tall man reached for the coins. Him and his buddy started
debating; like chicken picking for grains, they had their faces very close to
the coins. They separated two Yens and five Rubles.
-OK
miss, OK.
Now my
bag just looked odd; no bags or people around, it stood alone in the middle of
an empty hall. I took it and went outside. The driver was halfway through
another cigarette. The smoke shone against the light of the only lamp in the
street. He opened the door for me and handed me a card. It had pictures of a
fancy hotel with big rooms. I didn’t want to disappoint him.
-Yes,
please, take me there.
We
drove away from the airport along an empty, dark highway. I could not see a
thing other than the black shape of the driver’s head against the front lights
of the car. After a while, we slowed down and I knew we were in the city
although there were no lights in the streets. We drove blindly through a
labyrinth. My guy seemed to know exactly what he was doing.
-No
lights? - I asked.
-No
electricity at night in Kathmandu, madam -. He was silent for the rest of the
drive. I kept wondering if he would take me to the hotel.
Memories
flee my mind like birds with the pass of time. I know you need me to be as
accurate as possible, but some of the events I am telling you about have
already started to become blurry, as significant as they are. I remember we got
to the hotel, there was an ATM there and I took enough money to pay for my
ride. I am sure I had to spell my last name at reception, this I’ve had to do
every time. But that’s it.
My
next memory of Kathmandu is me crawling into bed with the side lamp on. I
shivered once I was inside the cold sheets. I stretched my arm out of the bed
and into my bag in search for my book. I was on page 218 of The Tartar Steppe. No Tartars so far.
The same day, the same things, had repeated themselves hundreds of times
without taking a step forward. The river of time flowed over the Fort, crumbled
the walls, swept down dust and fragments of stone…
That
night, I dreamt I was flying a plane on my own. The machine moved at the will
of my hands: I was the giant condor crossing the sky. At first I looked out the
windshields and saw the top of the highest trees of a dense jungle: here live the birds of paradise, I
thought with pleasure. Almost at the same time, thick red feathers started
popping up between the green leaves. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever
seen in dreams.
The
plane then abruptly took a life of its own and turned up, drawing a vertical
line across the sky. I felt all the weight of my flesh hanging from my bones as
we ascended through the clouds into a black void where dust bombs of red, blue
and yellow exploded, releasing millions of tiny orange rocks as they went. It
was all so slow.
The
whole dream became a distant memory. I knew what I was scared about, I only
wanted to stay in Kathmandu for a couple of days before going inland and my
grandmother´s voice repeated in my head, telling me the story of what I had to
do.
-I
flew over Everest, that’s where it all really begun-. She said she had found a
guy with a small plane that could fly her to see the top. And so they did. She
kept going on about the importance of seeing the highest peak in the world
because it was literally as far as your feet could take you. And she said that
you had to see as much as you could in life. Apparently seeing is not the same
as being told.
She
said on the way back they stopped to have lunch at a small restaurant made of
mud. There was nothing but dried forest around. She ate lentil soup, which was
the best she ever had, and then saw how the waiter took her plate, sunk it into
a barrel of dirty water with soap, filled it again with a big spoonful of soup
and served it to the next customer. She told me this story many times. She
liked to remember her days in Nepal.
That
morning I could see the sacred peaks of the Himalayas through a big window in
my room. It was a beautiful sight, yet I
didn’t feel any desire to see it from another angle than that one. I did not
yearn to be closer to those cold, high places. I thought for a second if what
she was looking for up there was the corpses of all those who died trying to
reach the peak. They say there are thousands of them: bodies and body parts
frozen between the earth
and the sky. I was determined to follow every step of her trip, I just had to.
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